Because of trauma, shock, hurt and abuse, I can and do sentence myself to emotional prison, to solitary confinement, guarding my inner most emotional secrets with a level of zeal and shame. My personal imposition also originates from guilt, abandonment, rejection, and from humiliation, bullying and molestation. In my heart I know that were there ever to be any appropriate system of emotional courts with judge and jury, none would convict me as severely as I’ve done to myself. None would find my case proved as warranting such a fierce punishment. Only my bittersweet self. Self sabotage is a way of life. I continually create added mental and emotional stress for myself and I am aware of it. My life. My choices. My mistakes. My bloody lessons.