Month: December 2011
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012-Light Under the Shade-Memoir
CHAPTER ELEVEN A couple hours have passed now. I had phoned my wife following my last writing installment and even though I knew she was and is doing all that she can to get me home, to get the house ready for me, for us, when I return… I still felt like I had to […]
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Reaching Hell and Happiness
12 NOON 22 December 2011 The Hot Club/Bed: New Mexico USA Dear Little Journal— [transcribed from my written private journal:] Having been away from you in several months, more on the computer, coming out with this whole real me, authentic, raw, sometimes in your face material and insights, even confessions, in a way–acknowledgements—but lots of […]
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011-Light Under the Shade-Memoir
CHAPTER TEN Sensitivity has me by the ass. I don’t know what the hell I’m feeling. I’m still here in the garden motel. I’m still an outpatient as far as the Sz School is concerned. It’s been weeks, actually a couple months, I think, since I checked in with you last. My wife was able […]
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Back to the E.R.
Restored Post from December 22, 2011 Smashing Pumpins’ “Soma” is keeping me afloat on repeat. But, darn it: Back to the E.R. at 9 AM-1 hour from Now. Nothing schizophrenic, thank God. [Can barely stand up at all, or move right, “Dizzy as Desi Arnaz,” due 2 blood sugars. Seem to be unbelievably low-haven’t had […]
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008-Light Under the Shade-Memoir
CHAPTER SEVEN It’s a new day now. The sun shines bright as I suck in the last draft of my cigarette, and suck the very end of my fourth cup of coffee. I notice Steve is still waking up, slowly, as he sits at the other patio table. I want to talk with him, to […]
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007-Light Under the Shade-Memoir
CHAPTER SIX Throughout the morning, I’ve been Zombie again. With a few more cups of coffee, the anxieties started to melt away. I’ve actually been at peace for the past three hours or so, knowing that the terror will eventually have to come back. It’s just the nature of this split mind. There are still […]
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MADE THE MARK. THANK YOU!
Dear Readers, This morning at 5:45 AM, it’s official, we’ve reached the mark, over 100,000 hits since the inception of this blog & website: Thank you all so much! -JH
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006-Light Under the Shade-Memoir
CHAPTER FIVE Sad and upset, I wake up in tears, crying this and that. Last night was a nightmare, and so were my dreams—my dreams were utter nightmares. Proudly, I have succeeded in lowering my caffeine intake, having had only five cups of coffee, yesterday. Until noon or so—then I cut myself off, being my […]
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005-Light Under the Shade-Memoir
CHAPTER FOUR I don’t need to still be angry. I’m still afraid but, heck no, not angry. I’m afraid of what the outcome will be if I do this, if I do that, or if I don’t do a single thing. I need to come back. I feel like I’m channeling something. I-I-I-I-I feel like […]