Getting Back On The Horse


It seems like I’ve been back on the horse after a couple challenging days, which followed my thirty-day mark of awesome fun and positive days continuously. I’ve been having some good days. Today, I’m just a little sad and sleepy, nothing too difficult to handle. It really seems like my good vs. bad days are most associated with whether or not I feel I am being taking advantage of in some way. It may be a chicken and egg thing, in that I can become symptomatic, and this leads me to feel suspicious. On the other hand I do think that if I am finding myself overly suspicious that may indicate I am symptomatic. The other thing is that when I act out in a significant way, people can react to that negatively, which then often makes my suspicions a self-fulfilling prophecy!

Through therapy I am able to understand there can always be some truth to being taken advantage of. People don’t always treat us fairly, or may try to gain an edge in a situation (e.g. taking an extra cigarette break, while working for me, on my time). However, my therapist’s recommendation is for me to process my suspicions before acting out on them in any dramatic way. I find therapy sessions are good times to process. I tend to gain some clarity over time and I can imagine holding off on any big reactions as being helpful in moments of suspicion.

As has been the case over the last month: exercising, getting out of the property, interacting with others, all tend to help me feel better. I’ve got to remember; this isn’t black and white, and “slow and steady wins the race” with this stuff!

Other than that I have had concerns about diet and some recent weight gain. It could be good for my therapist and I to go to Trader Joe’s. I’d like that. I think we can easily find some good tasting and healthy stuff to eat!

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World Mental Health Day 2014


Today marks World Mental Health Day 2014. The focus this year is on schizophrenia. Since I’ve been advocating for mental health and schizophrenia awareness in 2009, this year seems to be the most successfully talked about event in the news and on social networks online other than popular culture and other dramas. Most people aren’t affected by mental health. Many people are now familiar with the often-quoted statistic that 1 in 4 people will experience some kind of mental health problem in any given year. In some ways this statistic is misleading. It creates the impression that there’s a distinct group of people who are affected by mental health and that we are therefore a minority. We all have mental health that needs to be taken care of in the same way we all have physical health. I am so immensely grateful for today. Thank you from the bottom of my heart those for all who continue speaking out and living each day with or without one’s own mental illness.

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Abusers and bullies want to silence you, because your voice has power.


Abusers and bullies want to silence you, because your voice has power..

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Appreciating Our Freedom


January 29, 2013

This day is brand new. This moment is fresh and clean. The future is a blank canvas that is ready for you to create. Life is filled with twists and turns that often derail the best of souls. Resolve in this moment to continue your journey by honoring the gifts you have been given. If you have fallen off the path, decide to reestablish the connection that fills your heart with gladness. It is never too late to realize your soul’s intent and purpose. Do not let “time” fool you into a state of despair. You have the ability to reunite.

The question is how?

By embracing all your experiences (yes, even the bad ones), you strengthen your self for the journey, this time with a better outcome. Appreciate the difficult times, for they often set you back in the correct direction with your life. Appreciate what you have set in motion, while taking your mind here, taking your mind, heart, and soul to the next level of participation. Appreciate the day in the moment. Dwelling in the past makes it difficult to create your future. If you have pushed the boulder uphill without struggle, appreciate your own tenacity. If you have pushed the boulder uphill and still have not succeeded, examine the worth of the bolder (not your own).

Sometimes it’s better to let go, allowing the bolder to roll back down the hill to find a better connection. This releases you to travel up the hill with ease. Fill your moments with expectations, for when you reach the top of the hill, there is unlimited opportunity. You may find the bolder really wasn’t necessary at all, and that the important moment was your sense of freedom.

Appreciate the freedom.

—April Crawford

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Persecution Of The Mentally And Physically Disabled


September 10, 2013

Being disabled or having a mental illness should not mean having to be disqualified from access to every aspect of life. It is unfortunate that is does mean this for many.

Jonathan Harnisch

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Being Disabled and Disqualified


Jonathan Harnisch

September 19, 2013

Being disabled should not mean being disqualified from having access to every aspect of life.

 —Emma Thompson

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Sending Back the Negativity


 

March 22, 2013

Sending Back the Negativity

When someone is in a temper with us, or more deliberately wishes us harm or is jealous, and perhaps wishes that we have bad luck or that misfortune falls upon ourselves, or our loved ones, it can be very unnerving—even if the words or actions were spoken or done unto us days, months or even years ago.

Such bad feelings, however, always belong to the sender, and they can also be returned, not with anything added, but just as they are. By sending back the negativity, it seems also to block future nasty things coming from the same person or group of people.

As such a darkness falls I relax, and push against an imaginary window, as if I am pushing very gently—as if I am pushing a force away from me. I say, very simply, and quietly, “I return the pain, send it not again.” Or sometimes, “I return your bad wishes; I do not accept them; do not send them again.”

May all be as it was before.

Looking through some Biblical material, I noticed that Joseph, and with his religion, had used God’s grace in his adversity. He was sold into slavery in Egypt, according to the Bible. He was mistreated and taken advantage of. Even when he was wrongly accused of rape and put away in prison, he thrived. Later, through his faith, to be released and even put in charge of the whole of Egypt’s agricultural affairs.

Faith and hope can come in the midst of Life’s challenges.

When someone is mistreating me, like yesterday, I am using my faith in my own higher power, waiting in my own ‘prison’ for “it” to show up.

I am starting this morning.

Jonathan Harnisch

 

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Random Mental Health Thought: Jonathan Harnisch


16 March 2013

Random thought:

I love the term & meaning, just sounds perfect—plain & simple: “Cognitive dissonance.”

Jonathan Harnisch

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Being Disabled and Disqualified


September 19, 2013

Being disabled should not mean being disqualified from having access to every aspect of life.

 —Emma Thompson

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The Porcelain Utopia Restoration Project


Welcome back! Since the closing down of Porcelain Utopia in October 2013 Jonathan Harnisch has decrypted as much code and text possible which thousands of hackers had corrupted breaking through the most sophisticated security software available. The former self hosted WordPress website had wielded singlehandedly by Harnisch 25 million hits per day by its end and was written up in the press as the most viral WordPress blog known as it narrated Harnisch’s journey through schizophrenia. This is what remains. More to come.
Jonathan Harnisch

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